Why Familiarity Breeds Contempt: An Example

Why Familiarity Breeds Contempt: An Example

We’ve all heard the phrase “familiarity breeds contempt” before, and it’s often something we experience in our own lives. Whether it’s a coworker, a friend, or even a romantic partner, the more time we spend with someone, the more likely we are to become irritated by their quirks and faults. But why is that? And what can we do about it? In this article, we’ll explore this idea in more detail and provide some insights into how you can maintain positive relationships with those closest to you.

The Science Behind Familiarity Breeds Contempt

The idea that familiarity breeds contempt isn’t just a saying; it’s backed up by science. Studies have shown that the more we are exposed to something or someone, the more likely we are to dislike it/them. This phenomenon is known as the mere exposure effect. Essentially, our brains become accustomed to a certain stimulus, and we start to find it boring or annoying.

This effect applies to our relationships too. When we spend a lot of time with someone, we start to notice their flaws and quirks more often, which can lead to irritation and frustration. It’s not that we don’t like the person anymore, but rather that we’re finding it harder to overlook their faults.

How to Overcome Familiarity Breeds Contempt

So, how can you prevent familiarity from leading to contempt in your relationships? One approach is to focus on the positive aspects of the relationship. Make a conscious effort to remind yourself of the things you love about the other person. Perhaps they have a great sense of humor or are incredibly kind. Whatever it is that drew you to them in the first place, try to keep that at the forefront of your mind.

Another approach is to introduce variety into the relationship. Doing new and exciting things together can help keep the relationship fresh and interesting. For example, taking a vacation or trying out a new hobby can inject some novelty into the relationship and help prevent the mere exposure effect from setting in.

An Example

Let’s say that you and your romantic partner have been together for several years. Over time, you’ve both noticed each other’s quirks and flaws, which have led to some irritation and frustration. You recognize that familiarity is starting to breed contempt, but you’re not sure what to do about it.

One approach you could take is to plan a weekend getaway to a new and exciting location. This will provide a break from your usual routine and give you both something to look forward to. While you’re away, focus on the positive aspects of your relationship, such as the memories you’ve shared or the qualities you admire in each other.

When you return from your trip, try to maintain that sense of novelty by trying new things together. Perhaps you could take a dance class or try a new type of cuisine. These small changes can go a long way in preventing familiarity from becoming contempt and keeping your relationship strong.

Conclusion

In summary, familiarity breeds contempt is a real phenomenon that can affect our relationships with those closest to us. However, by understanding the science behind this effect and taking proactive steps to counteract it, we can maintain positive and healthy relationships with those we love. Remember to focus on the positive aspects of the relationship, introduce variety into your routine and take time to appreciate the unique qualities of the other person. By doing this, you can prevent familiarity from breeding contempt and keep your relationships strong and vibrant for years to come.