Surviving Life with a High Maintenance Person: Tips and Tricks

Surviving Life with a High Maintenance Person: Tips and Tricks

Living with a high maintenance person can be challenging, to say the least. A high maintenance person is someone who requires a lot of attention, effort, and commitment from those around them, and often comes with a lot of demands, expectations, and emotional intensity. If you’re in a relationship with a high maintenance person, or have a friend or family member who fits the bill, you might feel overwhelmed, exhausted, or frustrated at times. However, there are ways to survive and thrive in such a situation, without sacrificing your own needs and sanity. Here are some tips and tricks that can help you navigate life with a high maintenance person.

Understand What Makes Them Tick

The first step in dealing with a high maintenance person is to understand what drives their behavior. High maintenance people are often driven by a sense of perfectionism, control, or fear. They may have high standards for themselves and others, and feel anxious or insecure when things don’t go according to plan. They may also have a need for attention, validation, or admiration, and may resort to drama, guilt-tripping, or manipulation to get it.

By understanding what makes a high maintenance person tick, you can avoid taking their behavior personally, and recognize that it’s not your fault or responsibility to fulfill their every whim. You can also learn to set boundaries, communicate clearly, and manage your own reactions and emotions, without getting sucked into their drama or negativity.

Set Clear Boundaries

One of the most important things you can do when dealing with a high maintenance person is to set clear boundaries. By establishing what you are and aren’t willing to do, and communicating it in a calm and assertive manner, you can avoid getting overwhelmed or resentful.

For example, you can say “I understand that you want me to spend every weekend with you, but I need some alone time to recharge my batteries. How about we set aside one day a week for us to do something together, and the rest of the time I can focus on my own hobbies and interests?” By setting a clear and reasonable expectation, you can reduce the pressure and stress on both of you.

Communicate Clearly and Respectfully

Another key aspect of dealing with a high maintenance person is to communicate clearly and respectfully. This means expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs in a way that is honest, direct, and non-judgmental, and listening to their perspective with an open mind and empathy.

Try to avoid blaming, criticizing, or attacking them, even if you’re frustrated or angry. Instead, focus on using “I” statements, such as “I feel overwhelmed when you demand so much of my time and attention.” This can help you express your emotions without making them feel defensive or attacked.

Find Support and Self-Care

Dealing with a high maintenance person can be emotionally draining and exhausting, so it’s important to find support and self-care strategies that can help you cope. This may include spending time with friends and family who understand and validate your feelings, seeking therapy or counseling, practicing relaxation techniques such as mindfulness or meditation, or engaging in hobbies or activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.

Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish or indulgent, but rather an essential part of maintaining your mental and emotional health, which in turn can help you be more resilient and compassionate towards others.

Conclusion

Dealing with a high maintenance person is not easy, but it’s not impossible either. By understanding their motivations, setting clear boundaries, communicating respectfully, and finding support and self-care, you can manage the challenges and conflicts that may arise, without sacrificing your own well-being or compromising your values. Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, and you have the power to create a healthy and fulfilling relationship with yourself and others.