How to Successfully Co-Parent with a Narcissist: 14 Rules You Need to Know

How to Successfully Co-Parent with a Narcissist: 14 Rules You Need to Know

Co-parenting can be challenging enough, but when you are dealing with a narcissistic ex-partner, things can escalate quickly. Narcissists tend to be self-centred, manipulative, and often lack empathy. The good news is that there are strategies you can use to successfully co-parent with a narcissist. In this article, we will discuss 14 rules you need to know to make co-parenting with a narcissist as seamless and stress-free as possible.

1. Stay Calm and Stay Focused

One of the most important rules for co-parenting with a narcissist is to stay calm and stay focused. Narcissists are known for their manipulation tactics, and it can be easy to get drawn into their drama. When you stay calm and focused, you are less likely to fall for their tricks and more likely to make rational decisions.

2. Keep Communication Simple

Narcissists tend to thrive on drama. The more you engage in lengthy conversations or arguments, the more they will try to draw you in. Keep your communication simple, direct, and to the point. This will help to minimize any unnecessary conflict.

3. Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries is essential when co-parenting with a narcissist. This may include establishing clear guidelines and expectations for communication, parenting decisions, and scheduling. When you set boundaries, you are taking back control and making it clear what is acceptable and what is not.

4. Don’t Engage in Arguments

Arguing with a narcissist is a waste of time and energy. They will always try to turn the situation around and make it your fault. Don’t engage in arguments with them. Stay calm, stay focused, and don’t get drawn into their web of drama.

5. Focus on the Children

Co-parenting is about putting the needs of the children first. When dealing with a narcissist, it can be easy to make it all about you and them. However, it’s essential to keep your focus on the children and their well-being.

6. Don’t Take Their Behaviour Personally

Narcissists tend to blame others for their problems. If they are acting out, it’s not because of something you’ve done. Don’t take their behaviour personally. Instead, focus on finding solutions to the situation.

7. Use a Third-Party

If communication between you and your ex-partner is proving to be too difficult, consider using a third-party. This could be a mediator, therapist, or a trusted family member or friend. A third-party can help to keep communication on track and can provide a neutral perspective.

8. Keep a Record of Everything

It’s essential to keep a record of all communication and agreements when co-parenting with a narcissist. This will help to prevent any misunderstandings or manipulation later down the line. Keep a record of emails, text messages, and phone calls.

9. Stick to the Legal Agreement

If you have a legal agreement in place, stick to it. Narcissists will often try to manipulate the situation to their advantage. Sticking to the legal agreement will help to prevent any unnecessary conflict.

10. Be Prepared for the Unexpected

When dealing with a narcissist, you never know what to expect. Be prepared for the unexpected. This could include sudden changes in plans, attempts to manipulate the situation, or unreasonable requests.

11. Get Support

Co-parenting with a narcissist can be emotionally draining. It’s essential to get support from others who understand what you are going through. This could be through therapy, support groups, or talking with a trusted friend or family member.

12. Put Yourself First

It’s essential to put yourself first when co-parenting with a narcissist. This may include setting boundaries, taking time for self-care, and focusing on your own well-being. When you take care of yourself, you are better equipped to deal with any challenges that come your way.

13. Stay Positive

Co-parenting with a narcissist can be frustrating and challenging, but it’s essential to stay positive. When you approach the situation with a positive attitude, you are more likely to find solutions and make progress.

14. Seek Legal Advice

If you are struggling to co-parent with a narcissist, seek legal advice. A family lawyer can provide you with guidance and support to help navigate the situation effectively.

Conclusion

Co-parenting with a narcissist can be challenging, but it’s not impossible. By following these 14 rules, you can successfully co-parent with a narcissist and provide a stable and loving environment for your children. Remember to stay calm, stay focused, and put the needs of your children first.