Authoritative vs. Authoritarian Parenting: What’s the Difference?

Parenting is an art that requires patience, love, and creativity. Every parent wants to raise their child to be a happy, healthy, and responsible adult. But how do you achieve this? There are several approaches to parenting, including authoritative and authoritarian parenting.

What is Authoritative Parenting?

Authoritative parents are warm, responsive, and have high expectations for their children. They encourage independence, reasoning, and problem-solving skills, and provide their children with clear and consistent boundaries. Authoritative parents are more democratic and use positive reinforcement to reward good behaviour while using natural consequences to teach lessons when children misbehave. This approach helps children develop autonomy and self-regulation.

An example of authoritative parenting is when a child wants to play outside with friends. A parent, in this case, would carefully explain that while they can play outside, they need to be cautious of traffic, stay in sight, and come back on time. If the child does follow the rules, the parent would praise them, reinforcing positive behaviour. In contrast, if the child were to break the rules, they would experience natural consequences, like being asked to come inside.

What is Authoritarian Parenting?

Authoritarian parents are strict, controlling, and use punishments to achieve conformity. They set strict rules and regulations, have high expectations, and generally expect their children to be obedient and compliant. Authoritarian parents rely on punishment like spankings or verbal threats as they believe that this will translate to more obedient children. This approach often results in children becoming more dependent, with poor self-esteem and lower autonomy.

For example, using the same scenario as above, an authoritarian parent would tell their children that they cannot play outside as it is too dangerous. The parent would then punish the child if they disobeyed and went outside anyway.

The Differences Between Authoritative and Authoritarian Parenting

The main differences between authoritative and authoritarian parenting lie in the approach used by the parent. Authoritative parents tend to use positive reinforcement, while authoritarian parents rely on punishment. Authoritative parents encourage independence, while authoritarian parents aim to control their child’s behaviour and decisions.

Authoritative parenting tends to lead to children who are happy, healthy, and responsible adults, while authoritarian parenting can lead to children who struggle with independence and have lower self-esteem.

Conclusion

In summary, parenting is a complex process, and no one approach applies to every child. Authoritative parenting, when done correctly, helps children become more independent, responsible, and self-reliant. In contrast, authoritarian parenting can do more harm than good and stifle children’s growth and development. Remember to find a balance and adjust your approach when necessary, focusing on encouraging positive behaviours while correcting negative ones. By supporting your child’s growth and development, you give them the best chance of becoming a responsible and successful adult.