Have you ever noticed how people can sometimes become distant or hostile towards someone they used to be close to? It’s a curious phenomenon that psychologists refer to as “familiarity breeds contempt.”
Essentially, the idea is that the more familiar we become with someone or something, the more likely we are to start noticing their flaws and faults – and to start feeling less fondly towards them as a result. This could happen in friendships, romantic relationships, or even with places and objects that we’re exposed to frequently.
But why does this happen – and what can we do to combat it?
One explanation for the familiarity breed contempt phenomenon is that our brains simply become accustomed to the stimulus in question. Over time, the novelty wears off, and we start paying more attention to the negative aspects of the person or thing in question.
Another explanation is that familiarity breeds contempt can happen as a result of resentment or frustration building up over time. When we spend a lot of time with someone or something, we may start to notice patterns or habits that irritate us, or that we feel are unfair. These negative feelings can snowball into contempt over time.
So, are there any ways to avoid familiarity breeding contempt in our own lives?
One strategy might be to intentionally mix things up and keep things fresh. For example, if you’re in a long-term relationship, try to plan regular date nights or trips to new places. If you find yourself feeling bored with a particular hobby or activity, try incorporating some new elements to rekindle your interest.
Another strategy might be to consciously practice gratitude and kindness towards the people and things in your life. Instead of focusing on flaws and frustrations, try to actively appreciate the positives and express thanks and gratitude whenever possible.
Ultimately, the familiarity breeds contempt phenomenon is a natural human tendency – but it doesn’t have to be the end of a relationship or connection. By staying mindful and intentional in our interactions with others, and by actively seeking out new experiences and perspectives, we can keep our relationships and lives fresh and rewarding for the long haul.
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