The Surprising Origin Story Behind the Phrase “Familiarity Breeds Contempt”

The Surprising Origin Story Behind the Phrase “Familiarity Breeds Contempt”

Have you heard the phrase “familiarity breeds contempt”? It’s a common saying used to describe the phenomenon where people tend to dislike or disrespect those who they are familiar with. But where did this phrase come from, and what does it really mean?

The origin of the phrase can be traced back to the 14th century. Geoffrey Chaucer’s “The Tale of Melibee” includes the line, “And eek, Sir, ful many a nayve hath been yknowe, that hath be ful dere; for that men han levere to taken badde conseil of familiaritee, than conseil of prudence that is strange.” This translates to, “And also, Sir, many a foolish man has been known to be very dear, because people prefer to take bad advice from familiarity rather than wise counsel from a stranger.”

Centuries later, the phrase was further popularized by French writer Jean de la Fontaine in his fable “The Wolf and the Lamb.” In this story, a thirsty wolf accuses a lamb of dirtying the water upstream. The lamb insists that he is downstream and not responsible for the dirty water, but the wolf eventually kills the lamb anyway. The moral of the story is that tyrants will always find a reason to justify their actions, even if it means accusing the innocent.

But what does all of this mean in practical terms? It suggests that the more we know someone, the more likely we are to find faults in them. When we form a relationship with someone, we begin to develop expectations of their behavior. And when those expectations are not met, we can become disappointed or frustrated with that person. The more we are exposed to their flaws and weaknesses, the easier it is for us to criticize them.

This is not to say that familiarity always breeds contempt. In fact, the opposite can be true in some cases. When we get to know someone deeply, we may develop a sense of empathy and compassion for them. We may be more forgiving of their mistakes and more willing to understand their perspective.

So why does familiarity sometimes lead to contempt? One reason is that we tend to take people for granted when we become too comfortable with them. We stop paying attention to their positive qualities and begin to focus only on the negative. Additionally, familiarity can breed boredom. When we know someone too well, we may become bored with them and seek out new relationships or experiences as a result.

In order to avoid falling into this trap, it’s important to be aware of our own biases and prejudices. We should strive to remain open-minded and objective when it comes to our relationships. We should also make an effort to appreciate the positive qualities of those around us, even if they may not be perfect.

In conclusion, the phrase “familiarity breeds contempt” has a long history and a complex meaning. While it is true that familiarity can sometimes lead to negative feelings towards others, it is not an inevitable outcome. By remaining mindful of our own biases and focusing on the positive qualities of those around us, we can build strong, healthy relationships that are built to last.