5 Red Flags: Signs You Are Co-Parenting With a Narcissist

5 Red Flags: Signs You Are Co-Parenting With a Narcissist

When it comes to navigating co-parenting, it can be a challenging experience for even the most mature and amicable ex-partners. However, when one parent displays narcissistic behavior, the situation can become unbearable. Narcissists have a distorted sense of self-importance, crave attention, and lack empathy towards others. This behavior can affect the children involved and hinder their development. In this article, we will identify five red flags that could be present in co-parenting with a narcissist.

1. It’s Always About Them

One of the most prominent signs of co-parenting with a narcissist is their focus on themselves. While it’s essential to prioritize one’s needs, ignoring or dismissing your co-parent’s needs is damaging. A narcissistic co-parent will only prioritize their needs, feelings, and desires, leaving you feeling unimportant and disregarded. For example, if your co-parent refuses to attend your child’s game because it doesn’t fit their schedule or they refuse to pay for shared expenses because they didn’t agree with it, they are displaying narcissistic behavior.

2. Manipulation and Control

Narcissists are known for their need to control and manipulate situations and people around them. A narcissistic co-parent may use manipulative tactics such as guilt-tripping, emotional blackmail, or gaslighting to make sure things go their way. Your co-parent may use your child as a pawn to obtain what they want, refusing to communicate with you unless you agree to what they ask.

3. No Room for Boundaries

Establishing boundaries is essential when it comes to co-parenting successfully. However, as narcissists believe they are above the rules, they may refuse to abide by the boundaries set. For example, if you’ve agreed to split the child’s time equally, but your co-parent shows up unannounced to take the child home early, they are disregarding the boundary set. They may also ignore your requests to not talk negatively about you to the child.

4. Lack of Empathy

A significant sign of a narcissistic co-parent is their lack of empathy towards others. Their inability to see things from another person’s perspective makes it hard for them to understand the difficulties you may be facing or to be supportive. For example, if you’ve lost your job and are unable to make payments on a shared expense, a narcissistic co-parent won’t empathize with your situation and may instead berate you for your inability to uphold your end of the agreement.

5. They Make Co-Parenting Difficult

Ultimately, a narcissistic co-parent will make the whole co-parenting experience challenging. They will ignore your requests, dismiss your feelings, and make it hard for you to have a say in your child’s life. Co-parenting should be an exercise in compromise and collaboration, but narcissistic behavior destroys the ability to do so.

In conclusion, co-parenting with a narcissist can be a difficult experience. It’s important to recognize and acknowledge the signs of narcissistic behavior, and to stay resilient and consistent in your communication and boundary-setting. Seeking out a qualified therapist or mediator can also help in navigating the difficulties that come with co-parenting with a narcissist. Remember to prioritize your child’s needs and don’t hesitate to reach out for help when the situation feels overwhelming.